"She doesn't get to make a big deal out of something personal I never wanted to be public in the first place," the Redditor wrote in a post
:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():format(jpeg)/man-party-090924-bfe275c7af4c41baaa54a8ba682b9589.jpg "Young student guy feels upset and isolated while his friends celebrating party at home")
silverkblack/Getty
Stock image of a man separated from a group of peopleA Redditor claims his wife threw him a surprise party to celebrate the fact that his cancer was in remission, which he says left him feeling "mortified" — and led him to lie about needing to work so that he could leave.
In a post on Reddit's popular "Am I the A------?," the social media user, who described himself as a 35-year-old man, wrote that he is "very private."
"I don't like attention on me and prefer to keep things low key whenever I can," he wrote.
"Keeping that in mind, I was diagnosed with an extremely curable type of skin cancer" that was caught "very early on," the Redditor explained. However, while he claimed that he never felt "scared for my life in any way, shape or form," he wrote that his wife was "terrified" and that they initially agreed not to tell their two daughters, ages 5 and 7.
"About a week later, I get a call from my dad.....asking about my cancer. Turns out, my wife posted on FB about my cancer that morning," the Redditor wrote, claiming that he "wasn't happy that she posted my business."
"There is no way she would think I wanted that posted online, no matter what I said," he continued, going on to claim that she then "took it down."
After he got the remission news, the man claimed that he hoped they'd be able to put the experience behind them "very quickly."
Instead, he wrote in the Reddit post that his "ecstatic" wife threw him a "surprise party."
"She's never done anything like this and we've talked about how I would hate a surprise party multiple times," he wrote. "I asked what this is for [and] said 'I'm sorry, but I didn't know you planned this, I'm just coming back for some files and heading back to work.' "
"It was a lie," the man admitted. "I gathered up some meaningless files in my office and said thanks to everyone for coming and left to go back to my office, messing around on my phone until everyone left."
The Redditor claimed that he and his wife had an argument later that night and that he felt like "she doesn't get to make a big deal out of something personal I never wanted to be public in the first place,"
But, he went on to say that his brother thought he was in the wrong. "So, AITA for not wanting to celebrate beating my cancer?" he asked.
Well, according to the majority of the comments on the Reddit post, no.
"She should ask you before doing things of this nature," one commenter wrote, while another agreed, writing, "Your private life should be private."
Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up to date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
Although some of the responses were quite heated, others shared that while they didn't think the Redditor had done anything wrong, they did see where his wife was coming from.
“Because she was so worried. I think she wanted support. Even with chances that low, worrying is normal,” the commenter wrote. “I don’t think what she did had malicious intent."
Meanwhile another commenter suggested that in the future, "calm, open discussion" could be of use.
"It sounds like you're in a tough spot. NTA for wanting to maintain your privacy and handle your health matters in a low-key manner. It’s important for your preferences to be respected, especially in such personal matters," they wrote. "While your wife likely had good intentions in celebrating your remission, understanding each other's boundaries and communication styles is crucial in a marriage."
For more People news, make sure to sign up for our newsletter!
Read the original article on People.
Comments
Post a Comment