Woman Was ‘Blindsided’ When Daughter Cut Her Off, So She Created a Community for Other Estranged Parents (Exclusive)

Woman Was ‘Blindsided’ When Daughter Cut Her Off, So She Created a Community for Other Estranged Parents (Exclusive) https://ift.tt/4XGtgzV

Laura Wellington created a community for parents whose children have cut off contact

Laura Wellington

Laura Wellington

NEED TO KNOW

• Laura Wellington created an online community for estranged parents after her daughter cut off contact
• "There's such an embarrassment that comes from being estranged from your child. It's because everybody always says that if you're estranged, you did something," she tells PEOPLE.
• Wellington, however, hopes to "give voices to both sides," noting that "there are some terrible parents out there"

Laura Wellington didn't know how much her life would change in her 30s.

In 1998, the mother of four learned that her husband had cancer, and a few years after his diagnosis, he died. Wellington, 59, was left to raise their children alone, and tells PEOPLE they "were a close family" and maintains that she "made it a point of always keeping my door open to talk about anything."

"I always wanted to create this strong unit and give them the tools to become their father's legacy in the best possible way. That was so incredibly important to me, all of that. I put my heart and soul into every moment of it," she tells PEOPLE.  

After college, her daughter moved away from the tri-state area to Australia, where she met a man and fell in love. A few months later, she told her mom they were getting married, and Wellington gave them her blessing.

Laura Wellington

Laura Wellington

A week later, however, Wellington was told she was no longer invited to the nuptials. She then messaged her daughter's fiancé to take back her blessing, but knew they would "probably get married anyway" and wished them "nothing but the best." 

Soon after, her daughter reached out, asking for help with the paperwork, but Wellington told her that she needed space after being uninvited to her wedding. Afterward, she claims, her daughter cut off the entire family.

The initial estrangement began in June 2024, six months before the wedding, and Wellington says her daughter hasn't spoken to any family members since. Wellington's daughter did not respond to PEOPLE's request for comment.

Wellington, who says she still has a strong relationship with her other children, tells PEOPLE she was "literally so blindsided" by the situation. To better cope, she began sharing her story online, in hopes of reaching other parents also dealing with estrangement from their children.

"That's why I sought to find other people like me, because I couldn't even fathom that, one, this happened to me, two, that I was alone with in this. But no one was speaking about it. I couldn't find anybody," she says.

@doormat.mom

#creatorsearchinsights #fyp #owe #gratitude #parents #estranged #nocontact #relationship @Laura ☀️ @chasingjusticethemis @april @Candi Central @CharlieBrownGirl @CurlyGirlDreams @Estranged Parents

♬ original sound - Doormat Mom

She decided to make a video about how she was doing as an "emotional doormat" for her estranged child. The video went viral, and after she posted it, she was "flooded" with messages from other parents trying to make sense of their own parent-child relationships.

She realized that parents needed a place to talk to each other, and created a Facebook group called Doormat Mom No More.

"They were all so grateful because they had felt so alone. There's such an embarrassment that comes from being estranged from your child. It's because everybody always says that if you're estranged, you did something," she tells PEOPLE. "These parents are saying, 'But I didn't do anything. I was a normal parent. Did I make mistakes? Yes. Did I apologize? Yes.' "

Wellington says she read each entry on the forum to better understand why this was happening en masse. 

Laura Wellington

Laura Wellington

"You have social media situations where they're feeding off each other, you have religious differences, you have political differences, you have cultural, moral differences. Everything and anything that can get in the way is getting in the way, and it's causing division," she says.

Wellington says she would welcome a conversation with her estranged daughter, but admits it "would take rebuilding" to reenter each other's lives.

"It would take me learning to trust her again. It would take conversation and working on the relationship. It would take a lot. But for me, there's always a path forward with my children," she says. 

Her hope for the community is to help "estranged parents meet other estranged parents in their communities, so that they can make friends of their own." 

@doormat.mom

#creatorsearchinsights #tiktok #fyp #grow #educate #selfimprovement #parents #estranged #world #real #facts @Estranged Parents @april @Laura ☀️ @chasingjusticethemis @Millennial_Influencer

♬ original sound - Doormat Mom

However, after hearing so many stories from community members, she notes that every situation is different and that sometimes estrangement truly is the best option.

"When I talk to a child that's hurting, and they ask me the question, 'Is there ever a time when a child has a right to say no more to the parent and estrange the parent?' There are. There are some terrible parents out there who do not deserve to have the decision of whether or not they see their kid. That's that child's right," Wellington says.

Still, she believes there should be "grace" for the non-extreme cases. 

"I think there's no grace anymore. I think there's no understanding anymore of just human foibles. The lever comes down so hard so quickly," she says.

Wellington's ultimate goal is to foster conversation and ultimately get both sides to see what the other is feeling.

"It wasn't to drive hate, it was to wake people up. It cannot be good for estranged adult kids either," she says. "You lose so much in the loss of your parents if they were good parents. They lose their grandkids. The grandkids lose their opportunity to get to know their grandmothers. You lose the stories, your history, the good moments."

Being the creator of the Doormat Mom No More community makes Wellington "feel very enormously responsible," and she takes it "very seriously."

"It's not just an account anymore. It's not just one person's story that I'm telling. It's a responsibility. It's its own force," she tells PEOPLE. "I always tell the person who helps administer my account to keep it flowing, because there are a lot of people trying to get an account all the time. We check everything. We check every one of them." 

"We really have come from a genuine place where our hearts are in the right place. We're doing this for the right reasons, that's why we're being heard." 

Wellington notes that she sees just as many fathers as mothers in the group, with both parents asking for help, conversation and answers. 

She hopes to "give voices to both sides" by "facilitating the conversation in the middle."

"I wanna help people. This can't go on. Parents are suffering. Kids are suffering," she says.