Woman Says Boyfriend's 'Radical Honesty' Feels More Like 'Public Humiliation'

Woman Says Boyfriend's 'Radical Honesty' Feels More Like 'Public Humiliation' https://ift.tt/F1BtPu8

The woman turned to Reddit to ask if her boyfriend's behavior had gone too far or if she just needed thicker skin

Getty

Stock image of a couple after an argument.

NEED TO KNOW

• A woman explained on Reddit that she has been dating her boyfriend for a little over a year
• However, she said that he and his friend group are "brutally honest," to the point that it can feel more like public humiliation than helpful advice
• Now, she is wondering if she is in the wrong for feeling uncomfortable about their critiques

A woman wonders if her boyfriend's "radical honesty" is actually just cruelty masked with a self-help label.

On Reddit, the 26-year-old explained that she has been dating her 27-year-old boyfriend for just over a year. When they first started dating, he told her that his friend group is "brutally honest," which she assumed meant they just "roast each other a lot," but she was wrong.

"Apparently they have this rule where if someone complains about their partner, that partner is fair game for group feedback," she explained. "I did not fully understand what that meant until last weekend."

While hanging out with some of his friends, one of them casually asked, "So, did you ever fix that thing where you cry every time a plan changes?"

Getty

Stock image of friends hanging out.

She noted that "everyone laughed" and then began listing different things they think she "should work on."

"Like, 'you apologize too much, it is kind of manipulative,' 'you act shy but actually you like control,' 'you talk about your job too much, it is boring for the rest of us,'" she recalled. "All delivered like theyre doing me a favor."

All the while, her boyfriend sat there "nodding," even occasionally chiming in himself.

"I felt like I was in some live Yelp review of my personality," she wrote. "When I got upset later he said I was being dramatic and that I should be grateful they 'care enough to be real' with me."

Now, she is wondering if she is right to be upset about the situation or if she just needs to have thicker skin.

"Is this actually some healthy communication thing that my thin skin cant handle, or is this just a circle of people who enjoy tearing others apart and slapping a self help label on it," she asked Reddit, looking for outside perspective.

The vast majority of commenters sided with the poster, encouraging her to break up with her boyfriend.

"Complaining to his friends and having them gang up on you is not radical honesty. He's crowdsourcing his bullying. Gross," one user replied.

"Not ‘radical honesty, this is public shaming. He’s prioritizing his friends over your feelings, and that’s a red flag 🚩," another added.

"Honesty without kindness is cruelty," a third simply stated.